


No One's As Surprised As Me

by wolfiefics



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Seduction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-07 01:31:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20301232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfiefics/pseuds/wolfiefics
Summary: Remus goes through Severus' personal belongings following his presumed death to discover something about Snape he'd never dreamed of. Will the very alive Severus forgive the intrusion? Not HBP or DH compliant. Written September 2011 and originally posted on MoonShadow archive.





	No One's As Surprised As Me

Albus Dumbledore was more somber than Remus Lupin had ever seen the old wizard. Unless there was something seriously wrong, Dumbledore could usually find something to smile or chuckle about. Even as long as the second war with Lord Voldemort had been going on, Dumbledore always found a silver lining in the gray clouds that hung over the wizarding world.

Not today apparently.

Once the Order of the Phoenix members had assembled, as well as various Aurors and Ministry members that were trustworthy, Dumbledore cleared his throat for attention. All eyes fixed upon the wise old man, ready to hear the next plan of attack against those that followed the darkness.

"I feel compelled to tell all of you that we have lost one of our own." There was a murmur of distress from the assembled witches and wizards. Remus frowned. "Severus Snape, who has been risking his life once again to find out the doings of the followers of Lord Voldemort, has not been heard from or seen since he left three weeks ago. He was to check in with Kingsley Shacklebolt two weeks ago but Shacklebolt reports he has heard nothing. No other member of the Order reports hearing from or seeing Professor Snape and I myself have been unable to discover anything of his whereabouts. I'm afraid..." Dumbledore's voice trailed off for a moment as it hitched. "I'm afraid that he was discovered and dealt with. We shall mourn our loss and remember him with honor."

There were a few murmurs of assent but mainly everyone remained quiet and solemn. Severus, Remus noted, had never gone out of his way to be likable, but he didn't deserve this unemotional response. There was no sympathy or remorse for the loss of the powerful wizard. It hurt Remus as he realize this, so much so he raised his hand to be noted by Dumbledore.

"Yes, Remus?"

"What of his personal effects at the school? Does he have family to collect them?"

Dumbledore gave the werewolf an even sadder look. "Severus was the last of his family. There are no more Snapes. I have not looked through his rooms for a will. Would you care to do this for me, Remus?"

Remus nodded slowly. "Yes," he answered. "I'd be honored to act as Severus' executor."

Dumbledore nodded in return and a few people raised their eyebrows in askance at Remus' agreement, but their minds were diverted by the meeting and the business of war.

* * *

Remus' footsteps slowed as approached the door to Snape's private quarters at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. For some reason, Remus felt like he was getting ready to intrude on Snape's privacy. 'Don't be ridiculous,' he chided himself. 'Severus is presumed dead. Albus asked you to go through his things as a favor.'

Steeling his resolve, Remus reached for the door handle and turned it. Nothing happened. The skin of his hand slipped around the knob. The metal knob didn't budge. Remus frowned and tried again, to no avail. It must be magically locked.

Various spells didn't break the lock and Remus was beginning to wonder how he was going to get in. "Well, how am I supposed to get in here?" he asked outloud.

"Password?" Remus spun around in surprise to look at the portrait hanging on the wall across from the door.

"I beg your pardon?" asked Remus.

"Give the door the password?" suggested the painting again. A petite Asian woman in long flowing robes and hair ornamentation that looked very painful to wear was grinning at him.

"Snape is dead. I don't know the password," Remus explained. "Do _you_ know the password?"

"I do but I cannot give it to you," apologized the portrait, her smile very unapologetic. "Shame about his death though. He was a very interesting wizard."

"Understatement," muttered Remus, frowning at the door. He tried to think of some passwords. "Um, potions. Slytherin? How about Master of Hogwarts?" Nothing happened. Remus turned back to the painting. "How about a hint?"

"It's a magical creature."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Well, that narrows it down." Taking a deep breath, Remus ran through every magical creature he could think of but the door remained firmly closed and locked. The woman in the painting merely continued to smirk at him. "You're no help." The smile didn't falter. "Don't make me go after the Headmaster," threatened Remus half-heartedly.

The woman shrugged. "Wouldn't make any difference. He's not one of them."

Remus froze. "One of what?"

"One of the magical creatures that's the password," elaborated the painting as if Remus was a small child.

"You mean, like a vampire or a werewolf..." The door swung open with a creak. Remus stared at the painting in shock. "The password was 'werewolf'?"

The woman nodded. "He told me once when I asked that he admired a werewolf and figured the password was safe enough."

Remus nodded at her and entered Severus' private quarters, his mind spinning. _...he admired a werewolf..._ The words rang in his ears. 'Could he have been speaking about _me_?' Remus thought in wonder. As far Remus knew, he was the only werewolf Severus knew that had any admirable qualities.

His shook his mind from such puzzling thoughts and took a look around him. What he expected of Snape's quarters, Remus wasn't sure, but the place seemed to fit what he did know of Severus. It was tastefully done in mahogony and cherry wood furniture, dark green and silver materials, and interesting pieces of knick-knacks everywhere. Remus never pictured Severus Snape as a knick-knack person, but they seemed to fit in the room. The only thing that disturbed Remus was the lack of photos or family portraits. It was as if Severus had always been alone in the world, with no one to care for or be cared by.

The rooms weren't neat, but they weren't dirty either. The place was lived-in. A teapot, cup and saucer still sat on the cherry wood table in front of the sofa. A book lay upside down on the arm of a gray plush chair. It was an historical novel set in Roman Britain. Remus picked it up and read the summary on the back. Intrigue, danger, spies, war...very Severus. He put it down again and wandered over to the fireplace.

On the mantel were some personal items that undoubtedly meant something to the potions master: some medals for various potions and dark arts things, a few statues that Remus wasn't sure what they were for, and an item or two that Remus recalled Severus getting as gifts from Dumbledore or himself.

Waitaminute. Sure enough, there was the small figurine that Remus awkwardly gave Severus for Christmas the year that the werewolf taught at Hogwarts. It had been an impulse buy, an attempt at a truce, but Severus had merely opened the gift, made a sneering remark about it, and stalked away. Remus thought the gift dumped in the nearest rubbish bin. It had hurt that the peace offering was refused but Remus long since forgotten about it. Now, here was the little cheap figure of a wizard in formal robes, his wand raised up high as if in a duel. Remus remembered thinking the wizard looked a bit like Severus, which was why he purchased it.

Remus continued to wander around the room, finding scraps of papers with reminders or messages from Dumbledore or McGonagall on them, or an essay from a student in one of the classes who'd done remarkably well. Why Severus kept these things, Remus wasn't sure. The bookshelves were crammed with books on various subjects from potions and dark arts defense to books with titles that Remus couldn't even pronounce.

Realizing that he was stalling, Remus took a deep breath and entered the bedchamber. He stopped in shock. If the living room area was tastefully done, the bedroom was definitely a bachelor's pad. Remus wondered if Severus had a clean change of clothing _anywhere_. Underwear, socks and shoes were tossed on the floor with robes of black and green. Remus gingerly picked up a robe and gaped at the hole burned through it. It looked like the result of a potion gone wrong. 

"Did a student's potion do this?" Remus wondered outloud. He dropped the robe and picked his way carefully through the mess. On the dresser were various bottles and Remus curiously read the labels. "Dr. Dapple's Blotch Reducer, Ace's Cure for Abherrant Hair, Madame Meeb's Miraculous Moistener...what did you need all this for, Severus?" Remus was amused more than anything. They were beauty products, for Pete's sake!

"You'd be surprised what he looks like in the morning," came a dry voice from the other end of the room. Remus turned to stare at the mirror on the wall. "That boy, I swear, would scare anyone at any time of the day."

"Well, that's not very nice," chided Remus with an unrepentant grin, walking over to the mirror.

The mirror continued as if Remus said nothing. "Not his fault, really, all genetics. Used to grouse about everyone making comments about his greasy hair, but I couldn't understand how anyone could see grease in his hair. Wasn't oily at all, really. Very soft and silky, very unmanageable it was so fine. So he put that garbage on it in an effort to tame it, give it some life, but it never worked. I tried to tell him to leave it alone, but he wouldn't. Men are so stubborn."

Remus laughed. He couldn't help it. He never pictured Severus Snape a vain man. He stopped laughing at the mirror's next diatribe.

"Hurt him a lot that people made fun of his hair and looks. Kept telling me he was ugly, no one liked him, all that sort of rot. Kept telling him, I did, that if he'd smile once in awhile they wouldn't think so. Just told me that he had nothing to smile about, at least to them." There was no need to ask who "they" and "them" were, Remus knew. It was the outside world that seemed to shut Severus out. Shame washed over him.

"I..." he began but shook his head.

"Yes?" prompted the mirror.

"Never mind." He paused. "How did you know he's dead?" The mirror made a quizzical noise. "You refer to him in past tense."

"Well, you're here, aren't you? Only Dumbledore ever came to his quarters the entire time he taught at Hogwarts. So he must be dead, poor dear."

Remus pondered that bit of information as headed for the bathroom, poked his head in, saw nothing of interest and wandered back into the living room area. Giving in to depression and his own memories of how he'd previously seen and regarded Severus Snape, Remus collapsed on the sofa. Getting comfortable, he laid down lengthwise and stared up at the ceiling. His eyes strayed around the room and eventually landed on the teaset on the table by the sofa. It was close enough he could touch them, the last thing probably that Snape had done before going off to spy for people who didn't like him and certainly didn't appreciate him.

Remus looked down toward the floor and his gaze was caught by a small niche in the table. A little magazine rack niche that hung down a bit from the top of the table. In it was a single book, a small quill and ink bottle. Remus reached for the book and drew it from its cubbyhole. It was unremarkable, nondescript and, Remus thought idly, looked like a diary. He was amused a moment by the mental picture of Severus sitting on his couch just as Remus was, scribbling his innermost thoughts to a diary. The idea quickly sobered him, though, as he opened the book to find that a diary was exactly what the book was.

_August 16th_

It's getting harder and harder to sit in on those meetings with that damned mangy cur and his groupies. All those years in Azkaban, presumed to be the worst sort of wizard and suddenly he's the darling of everyone. Forgiven for being a rash, impulsive idiot while I, who have done nothing but toe the line and risk my life repeatedly, am still pariah, distrusted and ridiculed behind my back. And worse! And **he** hangs on Sirius like the damned animagus will vanish if he blinks. It's enough to turn my stomach.

Yes I know it's jealousy. I don't need a stupid diary to show me what is plain as the very long nose on my face. I can't help it. It's just not fair.__

Remus was dumbfounded but intrigued. Who was Severus jealous over and why? He flipped the pages back a few pages and read a previous entry.

_June 24th_

_The brats are gone and Voldemort has returned. Naturally the Ministry is denying it with their every breath. Fudge is an incompetent ass who I should have used for Killing Curse practice long ago. Heaven knows it would have been an improvement. Dumbledore's a fool to think he can bring Fudge around. _

_And I won't go into Goddamned Sirius Black._

Remus lost interest in the diatribe about Sirius and instead flipped to another random entry.

_December 3rd_

_I had another dream about him again. I hate that. Even as a werewolf, he's out of reach and definitely out of my league. I managed to make an Order meeting without Umbridge learning about it. Hard to do, under the circumstances, as the nosy bitch watches everyone like a hawk. And the ungrateful wretches at the Order just glared daggers at me. So I watched Remus under my eyelids and fantasized. I probably shouldn't have done it, as now I'm horribly aroused and wishing him to the Devil, but alas, it's the price I pay for my stupidity._

Remus blinked. Severus fancied him? Never in a million years would Remus have guessed something like _that_. Severus put on a good show of hating the very air Remus breathed. He continued to read.

_One of the fantasies was pretty good though. Besides the obvious points that Remus didn't find me completely repulsive and that sex was involved, it was downright romantically mushy. Candlelight dinner, soft music, my bedroom is clean for once, and Remus seducing me. Usually I fantasize that I seduce him, but this time, it was different. We have dinner, have a nice intellectual conversation, because, you know, Remus is a very intelligent man. For a half-breed werewolf. Anyway, after dinner we sit on the sofa and sip some wine, still chatting. Suddenly his hand touches mine and we hold hands in silence for bit. Then he leans over and kisses me, softly at first but then more insistently. I give in and we start caressing each other. He starts becoming more aggressive, pulling off our clothes, being a bit rough, but arousingly so. Next thing I know, he's pulling me to the bedroom and murmuring how much he wants me, how much he loves me, blah blah blah. I give in and we're on the bed. He's nibbling up my neck to my ear, then he's sucking on my earlobe._

_Christ, I'm getting hard just writing this! Anyway, on to the not-ever-going-to-happen-as-long-as-I'm-breathing part._

_We're completely nude and he's making noises over my scars. I'm kissing each one of his (he has to have some, being a werewolf). We're touching each other's cocks, stroking and teasing. He kisses down my chest, swirling his tongue around my nipples as he goes. His mouth is hot and velvety soft against me and I can't help but arch and moan, because it feels so damned good to be wanted. To be loved._

_Fuck this. I can't do this anymore. These fantasies are fucking killing me. I'm never going to get more than a glare or pitying look from the man, so screw it. FUCK IT FUCK IT FUCK IT. I'm going to take a cold bath.___

_ _Remus dropped the book, his mind flashing to the scene that Severus had written. How easily the werewolf could finish it! His hand closed around his aroused member and let his mind take flight, joining with Severus' image. Remus could see his mouth reaching Severus' cock. It wouldn't be too long or too big...just right. Remus would lick the small sacks until they grew bigger and heavier; then he'd knead them with his hands as he began to lick Severus' shaft._ _

_ _Remus began to stroke himself as the fantasy took hold. Severus would arch and moan, begging in that sexy, raspy voice of his to let him find release. Remus would instead suck gently on Severus' cock, his eyes trained on Severus' haggard features, tense with need. Black eyes would open, fathomless pools of onyx meeting amber eyes. Severus would reach for him and drag him up for a deep kiss, eyes still locked on each other, drinking in the sight of the other's pleasure._ _

_ _Murmured words and soft touches would drive each other insane until finally Severus would beg Remus to take him. The lanky potions master would be writhing with desire as Remus lubes the two of them up and then sinks gently into Severus' opening. Remus would be gentle at first but eventually Severus would be demanding and it would get hard, fast, and desperate. Remus would wrap his hand around Severus' cock and stroke in rhythm, trying to get Severus to come at the same time. Their teeth would clack together, they'd be kissing so hard._ _

_ _"YES!" Remus' orgasm took him by surprise. His hand stilled its stroking and he lay there on the couch of a dead man, ashamed. He'd just jerked off on Severus' couch to a fantasy that Remus finished for a man who was now dead._ _

_ _Remus rolled off the sofa, disgusted with himself. He was such a hypocrite. If anyone told him when Severus was alive that the lanky, dark-haired wizard fantasized about him, Remus would have laughed at both the reporter and Snape. Now he was on Snape's sofa, reading the dead man's most secret thoughts and getting off on it. Never mind that Remus was a major participant in the secret thoughts that Severus wrote down._ _

_ _Remus hastily cleaned up and quit the chambers, determined to not go back again._ _

* * *

_ _It had been two months since the incident in Snape's private chambers and Remus had not gone back. He told Albus that he found nothing of immediate importance and that he would finish going through Snape's effects sometime in the near future. Dumbledore agreed and let it go. Apparently, the potions master's quarters were not in dire need for a new tenant, as Hogwarts had plenty of room for new professors._ _

_ _Yet still the diary and his reaction to it's contents nagged on Remus' conscience._ _

_ _The summer months were waning and the war was being won, slowly but surely. Everyone was exhausted and there had been more narrow escapes for Harry Potter than Remus really cared to think about. Harry was still standing and defiant so the wizarding world still had a chance at winning against the darkness that was Lord Voldemort._ _

_ _Remus was due a shock, however, when he was called to Hogwarts by Dumbledore. He entered the Headmaster's office and stopped dead. There, sitting in a comfortable chair, looking worn and exhausted beyond belief, was Severus Snape. His hair was streaked with silver, his face was creased with lines, and his eyes were dull, exhausted and lifeless. Remus knew he was looking at a nearly beaten man._ _

_ _Dumbledore, as usual, tried to lighten any moment. "Look what the cat dragged in, Remus, literally!" He gestured at Snape, who looked up at Remus with a drawn expression. "Professor McGonagall found him trying to open the castle doors."_ _

_ _"Severus, we're so glad you're all right," Remus told the tired-looking wizard earnestly. "We've been trying to discover what happened to you for months."_ _

_ _"You don't want to know," was Severus' reply. It wasn't the words that made Remus' heart lurch, it was the tone. Severus always spoke in a flat tone when he was tired, disgruntled or impatient, but this tone...there was nothing to it at all. With no emotion, no inflection and no energy, it was as if he were forcing himself to reply._ _

_ _"I was wondering, Remus, since you've been taking care of Severus' affairs, that perhaps you wouldn't mind giving Severus a hand until he gets back on his feet?" Dumbledore's worried glance at Snape confirmed Remus' thoughts. Whatever happened to Snape was beyond 'not good'; it likely was downright inhuman and someone needed to make sure Severus didn't do anything drastic to himself._ _

_ _"Of course I have no problem with that, Headmaster," Remus replied. "Shall we, Severus? You look like you could use a nice cup of tea."_ _

_ _Severus winced when he got up from the chair and Remus fought the urge to grab Snape's arm and hold him up he walked. Remus sensed, though, that Snape would take offense at being helped about like an invalid, no matter his condition. The lanky wizard, now even thinner than before, didn't protest the appointment of a nursemaid and that worried Remus more than anything._ _

_ _With excruciating slowness, Remus followed Severus down the stairs and then through several corridors to the staff wing. The painting of the Asian witch offered Snape a solemn 'welcome back, Professor', which earned a slight smile and nod from the maltreated wizard. Remus strained to hear the password but even with his heightened hearing, he could barely make out the word 'werewolf' when Snape uttered it._ _

_ _Remus gave in to his sympathy and bustled in before Severus. "I'm sorry if this irritates you, Severus," Remus babbled, "but I have to smother you a bit. You look like you could really use it. I don't know what happened to you but from the looks of you it can't have been in the least bit pleasant." Snape just looked at him blankly. "Take a seat on your sofa and I'll conjure some tea. Relax a bit, if you can. I'll run you some bath water, get those muscles soaking maybe?"_ _

_ _Remus was conscious of Snape's black gaze following him everywhere he went. Tea was conjured with a wave of his wand, replacing the tea set that Severus left behind months ago. The house elves, Remus saw, still came in and dusted but that was it. Apparently Snape had strict orders on how much the elves did in his quarters. Everything was exactly as Remus remembered it._ _

_ _"What the devil?" Severus' voice was soft and disbelieving. Remus turned from pouring the tea to Severus, wondering what had the wizard so confounded. He froze when he saw Severus holding his diary. "How did this get on the floor? I specifically remember..." The potions master's voice trailed off, his already pale features going paler. For a moment, Remus thought Snape was going to faint. "Dumbledore said...personal effects. Did you read this?"_ _

_ _"What?" Remus tried to laugh it off. "Severus, I would never -"_ _

_ _"Did you read this?" The tone was firmer and angry. Remus swallowed hard and chanced a look at Snape's features. He expected them to be shuttered and infuriated._ _

_ _Infuriated yes, but there was also confusion and hurt. A lot of hurt. Remus felt shame wash over him again. "I didn't mean to," he started lamely._ _

_ _"What do you mean, you didn't mean to?" demanded Snape, tossing the diary down on the sofa and standing up on unsteady feet. "It just flew into your hands and glued itself to your eyes?"_ _

_ _"Severus, I -"_ _

_ _"How much did you read?" Remus didn't answer and Severus' face went an alarming shade of bright red. "God damn you to hell, Lupin." Severus tried to walk away, but he'd used too much of what little strength he had left. Remus was alarmed to see Snape start to topple. _ _

_ _"Severus!" he cried, springing up and catching the thin wizard before he fell._ _

_ _"Let me alone." Severus tried to struggle free, but was too weak to do more than wiggle a little bit._ _

_ _"No, you're tired, you're weak and I don't know what else. I didn't read anything you should be ashamed of or embarrassed by, so shut it." Snape gave him a mutinous glare. "I was shocked, sure, but it was mostly because I thought you always hated my guts. You can imagine my surprise to discover that a man I thought hated and reviled me, and whom I volunteered to help dispose of his belongings because he died in the advance of our cause, had been lusting after me for who knows how long."_ _

_ _"Did you read all of it?"_ _

_ _"Only a few entries."_ _

_ _"Anything of interest to you?" The tone was derisive._ _

_ _"One of the last ones about a fantasy you had of us at an Order meeting inspired a fantasy of my own, but otherwise..." Remus was going to end the sentence with "no, nothing of interest" but he could not lie to Snape about this. The whole damned diary had been of extreme interest._ _

_ _"Yes?" Snape's voice was sharp, despite his exhaustion. _ _

_ _"I didn't read it all. I didn't need to in order to see that you were in love with me."_ _

_ _"Don't flatter yourself, Lupin."_ _

_ _"I don't." There was a tense moment and finally Severus shrugged off Remus' helping hands. _ _

_ _"If you don't mind, I'll take that bath now. Then I'm going to sleep for a week. I do _not_ want to be disturbed for any reason, including the information that my bed is on fire."_ _

_ _"No problem." Remus went to run the bath water, and in the meantime, picked up enough of Severus' clothes that he wouldn't trip on them on the way to the bath. Remus finished picking up and saw Severus watching him in the bedroom doorway. "I didn't want you to trip and fall."_ _

_ _"How touching," sneered Severus as he slowly made his way to the bathroom._ _

_ _"Glad to be of help," Remus replied sincerely. Deciding it was best to let Severus ruminate on his own, Remus went back to the living room and finished his tea. After twenty minutes, Remus got worried. He'd heard nothing from the bath for some time. Had Snape lost what little strength he had and accidentally drowned?_ _

_ _Chewing on the inside of his cheek, Remus crept into the bedroom and knocked on the bathroom door. It was ajar and swung open some more at the knock. "Severus? Are you alright?"_ _

_ _"I need help getting up." Severus sounded disgusted at having to ask for help in such a fashion but Remus was relieved the man was able to recognize his weakness._ _

_ _"I'll help."_ _

_ _"Leave me some dignity, Lupin, and just levitate me out of the bath." _ _

_ _Remus poked his head around the door and peered at the potions master. There were still soap bubbles in the tub, conveniently covering certain areas of Severus' anatomy. Remus tossed him a towel, disappointed. At Severus' questioning look, he shrugged. "For your modesty." _ _

_ _Severus rolled his eyes. "Get on with it," he demanded._ _

_ _"_Mobilis corpus_," Remus intoned and Severus floated out of the tub, dripping water and froth everywhere. Another quick charm dried him and soon Remus had Severus tucked into bed._ _

_ _"Thank you." The thanks was given properly, almost in a prim tone, and Remus had to smile. _ _

_ _"You're most welcome. Do you need anything else? If not, I'll let you sleep." Remus walked to the bedroom door but paused when he heard Severus' sigh._ _

_ _"You weren't offended?" _ _

_ _Remus turned and grinned ruefully at the man lying in the bed, green velvet comforter pulled up to his chin. "Quite the contrary, I was most flattered."_ _

_ _Remus could see his answer puzzled Severus. "Flattered?" The tone was disbelieving and confused. "Why would you be flattered?"_ _

_ _Remus gave a short laugh. "I don't think anyone has ever lusted after me, Severus, especially not someone like you."_ _

_ _It was Severus' turn to give a laugh, this one hollow and self-deprecating. "Someone like me? A long-haired, greasy git of a man whom everyone dislikes and mocks behind his back? Someone whose past leaves a lot to be desired and cannot be considered attractive in the least? Yes, I imagine it was quite a shock for you."_ _

_ _Remus looked at Severus seriously. "Yes, I was most flattered to have someone as intelligent and brave as you look twice at a mangy, half-starved werewolf who allowed his friends to unmercilessly torment you when we were schoolboys. You have no idea how stunned I was by that knowledge and how ashamed I was that I had not noticed you when you were alive. I thought I might have missed my chance, Severus, and felt very guilty at reading your thoughts even though it opened a whole new world of possibilities to me I never even conceived of."_ _

_ _With that, Remus closed the bedroom door gently behind him and left Snape's private quarters. The man needed his rest._ _

* * *

_ _It had been a month since Severus came staggering back to Hogwarts, abused, battered and exhausted. The silver that appeared in his hair during his almost three month disappearance hadn't gone away. Madam Pomfrey told the digruntled Snape that the silver was there to stay, a souvenir of physical trauma during his captivity. Remus privately thought it made Severus more distinguished. _ _

_ _Snape's lean figure thickened up as much as it ever would, considering the man was always tall and lanky. The broad shoulders were no longer stooped, however, and the hollowness in his face had filled back out. Everyday Severus' resemblance to a half-starved scarecrow diminished._ _

_ _The two of them never mentioned the private conversation they shared that first night in Snape's rooms. Instead they talked of everything but that. Remus at first didn't mind, knowing that Severus distrusted everyone by nature and was having a hard time accepting the fact that Remus accepted what was written in the diary. Yet the more time he spent with Severus, the more Remus wanted some of the fantasies the werewolf had been indulging in during his private moments to come true._ _

_ _Severus invited Remus to dinner one evening and it was then that Remus decided to make his move. Following the lead of the fantasy he read in Snape's diary, Remus tucked some candles into his robes. Sure enough, as he suspected, Severus didn't place any on the table. Severus greeted him at the door with a wan smile, his eyes reflecting his exhaustion, which he still felt when he'd done too much. It would be a long recuperation for Severus Snape._ _

_ _"Good evening, Severus," Remus said cheerfully. He held up a bottle of wine. "I swiped some of the good stuff from the kitchens." Snape only smiled. "You look fagged. Are you sure you shouldn't be taking a nap?"_ _

_ _"I'm fine, thank you, Lupin." Severus dismissed the concern, as he always did. "Have a seat. The elves have delivered the food already. I hope you like chicken."_ _

_ _"I'm a werewolf. Of course I do," Remus joked but sensed his joke was unappreciated._ _

_ _"Amusing."_ _

_ _Remus shrugged apologetically. "Sorry, graveyard humor."_ _

_ _"Very graveyard." The two wizards sat at the table and Remus fiddled with his silverware, trying to figure how best to get the candles lit and on the table. Severus solved the problem for him._ _

_ _"Damn it. My apologies, Lupin, I forgot to take my potion. I'll be back. Help yourself." Severus waved a hand at the plates of food invitingly and disappeared into his bed chamber. Grinning with delight, Remus set up the candles and had them burning by the time Severus returned from taking one of his required healing draughts._ _

_ _Severus halted in surprise at the change in lighting. "What's this?"_ _

_ _Remus shrugged. "I've never been much on bright lights. I thought this would be more relaxing for both of us."_ _

_ _He squirmed a bit under Severus' sharp gaze, wondering how much of the fantasy Snape remembered. Apparently not much because Snape said nothing further about the candles. He immediately launched into a conversation they had a few hours earlier in Dumbledore's office regarding changing the Werewolf Codes and soon the two of them were eating and debating with each other good-naturedly. Remus discovered sometime ago that Severus Snape was an excellent forensic speaker. He once, during a debate on house elf freedom, switched sides on Remus, arguing for the elf freedom idea where just moments before he'd been avidly advocating against it. The man's quick mind constantly left Remus stretching his own intellectual limits._ _

_ _Once the meal was finished, they broke open the bottle of wine and, as Remus hoped, wound up on the sofa. Their discussion moved to other topics, such as finding better ways to improve on the Wolf's Bane potion, but Remus wasn't paying much attention anymore. He was trying to remember the exact circumstances of what he was supposed to do next in the fantasy._ _

_ _Hold hands._ _

_ _With a motion so smooth, he impressed himself, Remus reached over and casually slipped his right hand into Severus' left. Severus' arm was draped over the back of the sofa. Severus was so startled that he stopped talking in mid-sentence. Remus only grinned at him._ _

_ _Severus removed his hand._ _

_ _Remus scooted over._ _

_ _Severus scowled. "What are you doing, Lupin?"_ _

_ _"By all means, call me Remus."_ _

_ _Severus only blinked at him in confusion. "What?"_ _

_ _"Re-mus. Come on, say it. Re-mus," coaxed Remus._ _

_ _Severus frowned. "I'm not an imbecile. I know how to say your name."_ _

_ _"Then do it."_ _

_ _Confused, Severus complied. "Remus."_ _

_ _Remus leaned across the sofa and, when the two of them were nose to nose, looked into Severus' wide black eyes. "I've been waiting some time for you to say my name." With that, he kissed him._ _

_ _Severus wasn't the first man Remus had ever kissed but the moment it happened, he knew Severus would be the last. To say Severus was surprised would be an understatement. As Remus wrapped his arms around the other wizard, he could feel the rigid shock in his body. As Remus coaxed Severus into kissing back, running his tongue over Severus' closed lips, he kneaded the taught muscles in Severus' back. Severus' mouth opened and Remus slipped his tongue inside the velvety warmth._ _

_ _It was heaven. He never dreamed kissing Severus Snape could be so wonderful. He slanted his mouth over Severus', their tongues whirling against each other in an erotic mating. After several moments Severus drew away, his brow furrowed in confusion. _ _

_ _"What are you doing?"_ _

_ _Remus threaded his hands into the long hair hanging down Snape's back. "Indulging us in your fantasy."_ _

_ _Severus shoved him away. "I don't need your pity."_ _

_ _Remus pulled the other wizard to him. "Who said anything about pity? I read that entry, and jerked myself off. I imagined exactly how we'd end up starting from where you left off. I want to see how close I was to playing it out." Remus gave Severus a teasing glance. "Am I worth it?"_ _

_ _He could see the indecision of want warring with Severus' sense of self-preservation. He knew when want won. Severus literally melted against him, their mouths sealing in a kiss once more. Slowly, bit by bit, Remus began to remove Severus' clothing. As usual, the dark haired wizard wore layers, but Remus found the layers an erotic challenge, not an irritating wall._ _

_ _Severus broke the contact between their lips to gasp, "Remus, I don't think -"_ _

_ _"Excellent plan. Thinking is not on the agenda at all," agreed Remus, interrupting. He let his lips trail down Severus' throat, nipping and nibbling as he went. Severus only gasped._ _

_ _Remus felt a tug on his own robes and adjusted his body so that Severus could start removing his clothes too. Soon the two of them were down to trousers, underwear, socks and shoes. Remus groaned deep in his throat as his mouth latched onto Severus' nipple, biting down slightly to elicit a reaction. He got one._ _

_ _Severus came off the sofa so fast he knocked Remus down._ _

_ _"I can't do this," panted Severus, black eyes wide and his whole body trembling._ _

_ _Remus got up and walked toward him. Severus backed away. "Why not? This is what you wanted. It's definitely what I want. So what seems to be the problem?"_ _

_ _He almost felt sorry for Severus. The confusion and disbelief was so evident on the fine boned features. The man couldn't understand what was going on, so poor was his opinion of his own self-worth. "You can have anyone..." The sentence trailed off pathetically._ _

_ _"If you say so, but you see, I only want you." Remus gave a predatory shrug. "So what's the fuss about?" He gestured to the bedroom. "I believe following foreplay and heavy petting on the couch, we adjourn to your bed, where we fuck each other's brains out, and then fall into exhausted sleep. I hope your fantasy involved repeat performances through the night? I know mine did."_ _

_ _Severus stared at him and Remus could see the light of comprehension dawning in the inky black depths of Severus' eyes. "You aren't toying with me?"_ _

_ _Remus held his hands out as if to say "look". "Does it look like I'm toying with you?" He grabbed Severus' hand on the way to the bedroom. "You want to be on top or do you want to be on bottom?"_ _

_ _"I-" began Severus, but Remus interrupted._ _

_ _"Frankly, I don't care either way, just as long as you keep moaning my name in my ear with that sexy voice of yours."_ _

_ _"Sexy?" Severus' voice was a squeak._ _

_ _"Told you," said his mirror in a smug tone._ _

_ _"Shut up," both wizards snapped._ _

_ _"This is the thanks I get for being supportive."_ _

_ _"Shut it," growled Severus, and he fell backward on his bed. "The room's not clean."_ _

_ _"I think we can survive this aberration in the fantasy," Remus grinned, falling gently on top of his soon-to-be lover. _ _

_ _He saw in that moment that Severus was accepting everything he said as truth. "In that case," Severus said, before sucking Remus' earlobe and causing Remus to shiver, "we should commence that moaning your name part. I liked that."_ _

_ _Remus sighed in ecstasy. "Ask and you shall receive."_ _

_ _The mirror gave a smug, "ha!" just as Severus moaned, "Remus!"_ _


End file.
